Papi didn't have the most home runs in the first round of the Derby, but Holy God, if they were giving out an award for the prettiest, he'd have it hands down, on any number of his ten moon shots, most of them over everything. This just after they trotted out a physics professor to talk about how the best way to put a ball in the river just outside the park was to pull it into the little notch just on the fair side of the pole in right--Ortiz put several into the river, notch be damned.
Probably my favorite was the one to dead center that still went over everything, including the ESPN bozos chattering away in their booth.
That sound off Ortiz's bat--that ringing, meaty THWACK--and the way the ball goes tailing off into orbit while he stands and watches, a great dark figure under the stadium lights...there's something so sublime about David Ortiz, his happiness, his booming power, his unfailing interior light. People talk (at least half-jokingly) about Albert Pujols being divine, but I think that if God chose to incarnate himself as ballplayer, it's a pretty safe bet he'd be this one.
And that baby. Dear God. Every bit as cute--in a very similar, dark-eyed, wild-haired way--as Manny's little son.
It's the young lad's birthday today, also.
I am so glad Ryan Howard beat Jermaine Dye. Because Jermaine Dye was a huge pain in the arse over the weekend, and yes, I am that petty and vindictive.
New this year: the runs carry over. They haven't said outright that it's because of Bobby Abreu, but I have a pretty good idea.
Those kids that just robbed David Wright of two home runs? There's been some debate as to whether or not they should have done that. I come down firmly on the "no they should not have" side. Also known as the "those kids freakin' suck, what the fuck is wrong with them" side.
I love. LOVE. The way Jonathan Papelbon talks. I love it so freakin' goddamn much.
Papi's not doing so hot this time. Four outs and not one homer. His fifth out goes about two miles into the air, but comes down again into the
little shits' filders' gloves.
FINALLY, his first homer this round goes over everything after five outs, but the next swing produces a massive popup.
The next one meets water on a bounce...and then the seventh out comes on a shot off the mezzanine bleachers which I personally think should count as a homer.
But only when Ortiz is batting.
Some of his AL teammates put on a new hat and wipe down his face with a towel.
I wish Manny was here.
Number three for this round, the gold ball, gets nothin' but water. Straight into the Allegheny River without touching anything.
Just like that, Papi's out. I think he knows I need sleep. Yes, I believe David Ortiz is omniscient. He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you need to get up early for work tomorrow, but if he keeps hitting in the home run derby, you'll stay up too late and watch him, and so he holds off. He is that powerful.
Jonathan said he bet $100,000 that Papi would win the Derby, and if Papi won, he'd give him $50,000. I do not know who Jonathan bet against. But between that and the mohawk, I do not think Jonathan completely understands betting.