To steal a line from somewhere, I picked the wrong Sunday to stop sniffing glue.
I had expected the Patriots to lose this game, and I still expect them to lose their game against Tampa Bay, too, while winning their games against AFC East opponents, and still making the playoffs, to be knocked out probably in the first round, hopefully by the Chargers rather than the Colts or Steelers, because those two options would be far too bitter to stomach.
I even predicted (over IM to an imaginary friend of mine who is a Raiders fan in Australia--long story) a final score of 24-17. If the Pats hadn't stupidly gone for two that one time, my prediction would've only been two points off.
So, given things are going almost exactly according to my pessimistic predictions, you'd think it wouldn't have been such a depressing game to watch.
But it was. I think at this point, we can all agree that this is the second coming of 2002, complete with Tom Brady having shoulder problems and throwing interceptions. There's clearly something physically wrong with him, which is causing him to miss his receivers high and wide, time after time after time. I've heard all kinds of speculation about what his major malfunction might be, from too much responsibility in Belichik's absence (to which I say, What?!?) to frustration and unfamiliarity with his colleagues on offense...but frankly, none of that shit has anything to do with his ability to throw the ball from point A to point B, point B being his intended receiver and not Kansas City free safety Greg Wesley (who, after yesterday's debacle, I will half-expect to see pop up in the backfield in next week's game against the Jets).
What's new for Tommy this year is being hit, sacked, thrashed, slammed, pounded, pummelled, and mashed to a fine paste while attempting to stand in the pocket (for a visual aid, click for big over on the left). Right now it seems like some G.I. Joe action figures lined up in front of him would amount to about the same protection for No. 12 as that woeful excuse for an offensive line. Keep it up, and he'll be hurt before the regular season is over. And then we'll have to deal with our Amazing Scrambling Munchkin backup quarterback, and that will be my signal to put down the glue and start smoking crack, because one spectacular win for BC about thirty years ago does not equal a replacement for Tom Brady. It doesn't even equal half a Tom Brady. Nor, incidentally, does Flutie in physical height.
Moving on. Do we have a GM yet? No? Okay, just checking.