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August 13, 2005

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Boston Fan in Michigan

*slow applause*

Amy

Bill Mueller reminds me of the guy in high school who was nice and always explained the math equation you didn't get. He had no idea how hot he was and he had the same girlfriend for two years, and she wasn't ridiculously hot, just really nice and sweet and cute.

So you could never hate them.

I think too much. And, tequila.

mrbandw

Those are pretty funny!

Emma

Magnificent.

Bronson is the guy who's all shy and quiet when it's a big group of people, but when it's one or two of us, he's got us rolling on the floor laughing. He's always up for one of those hour-long stream of consciousness phone conversations. He's the guy I watch Lord of The Rings with at 1 in the morning, and he's always up for going over for Tommy's for pizza.

beth

HOW COULD WE FORGET BRONSON

Me: Bronson and I got really drunk and made out once. Now things are awkward.

Kristen?

Kristen

Bronson follows me around all the time with his guitar asking me if he thinks playing an Edwin McCain song will make a girl listen to him. I spend a lot of time giving him a pitying look because he gets very excited about it. God love him, he tries, but he's so awkward. Also, his voice sometimes cracks on the high notes.

Martha

Fantastic. Suddenly my rich inner life doesn't feel so wierd. Particularly about dear Billy Mueller. It's like, we're been friends for years, but I've been in love with the him the whole time. And he comes over to my place at night and we get a little drunk and talk about serious things, and he makes that serious, focused face and I keep thinking to myself, "Kiss him, you dork. Just DO IT." But then I always chicken out.

Cathryn

David Wells thinks it's hilarious that I don't like to get too smashed when I go out, so when we're out in a group he's always trying to buy me drinks and insisting that I try this or that. I am frugal and polite so I give in in spite of myself.

And after David's gotten trashed and lost track of me, Bronson's the one who makes sure I get home okay.

Dan

1)Hilarious post - too many good parts to chose from - though the Cheerios bit might be the best by a smidgen.

2)Imaginary Baseball World - a brilliant way to describe the way many of us interact with our Sox.

As for me...

Big Papi and I like to BBQ. We go through a case of Miller High Life each time - at least. He tells these awful jokes - like knock knock joke bad - but I can't help but laugh because they're soooo bad and Big Papi crakcs himself when he tells them.

I give a Wake a big hug whenever I see him. This embarasses him since he's not the most demonstrative guy, but he understands 'cos we go way back, ya dig? Sometimes when everybody else has gone home, we stay up late and talk about old times and departed teammates. Game Five 1999 ALDs is a favorite topic.

I am forever helping Edgar with his homework.

Emma

//And after David's gotten trashed and lost track of me, Bronson's the one who makes sure I get home okay.//

awwwwwwwwwwww.

Boomer's that friend of mine who's always getting me to do weird adventurous shit, like bungee jumping, but he's right there beside me, so it's okay. And we sing old Irish drinking songs on St. Patrick's Day, out of tune and completely smashed.

Sammy

Martha,
Don't ever chicken out when thinking about kissing a guy. That's our job. We can be rejected, get the cheek turn for a peck only (aka utter humiliation) or worse, the dreaded, "what are you doing?" response. On the other hand there has never ever in the history of mankind been a man who declined a kiss from a woman.

akaellen

Bronson is the guy that I totally have a crush on even though after spending some time with him I realize he's sort of a geek. I like to take him to parties and get him to play his guitar.

Tony G is the friend who I'd call if I needed to have somebody offed -- we often go to the bar for beers.

Whenever I feel like going to the playground I call Manny. He loves the swings and will push you on the roundabout until you want to puke.


Brooke

Bronson was the guy in 2nd grade who ate paste then stuck his tongue to the wall and got furious applause. We still talk about that when we're sitting on my living room floor drinking beers and listening to Pearl Jam LPs.

Kevin takes me through the Dunkin Donuts drive through on his bike. And we gun the engine and laugh hysterically as soon as the person comes on to take our order.

Manny brought me some finger paints, which we ended up using to make a tie die shower curtain.

Billy always says he wants to come over and just watch movies, and we always end up making out on the couch.

Gabe is great at putting outfits together. The guy has amazing taste in shoes!

Trot will talk your ear off about why red Puma stripes are better than white, and how he thinks the time is now for drilling natural gas off the coast of North Carolina.

Edgar would much rather curl up with a bowl of tomato soup and watch Days of our Lives.

addicted2redsox

Great post girls.
Had to add 2 of my own:

Mark: Mark is totally my friend I only see when we show up at Cab's bar on the same night. We don't have each other's numbers or even know the other's last name. But damn we always have the beast freaking time together. ALWAYS.


Billy: Billy & I dated in college while at Southwest Missouri State. He went on to become Billy Ballgame and I went off to medical school. Through mutual friends we stay abreast of each other's accomplishments and families. We meet every now and then through such mentioned friends. The mutual desire seems to almost kill us but yet we cannot bring ourselves to cause each other any problems.

deedee

I could, potentially, write a long and explicit narrative about the things I've done with Billy in my imaginary baseball world.

I'll spare you the details.

Excellent, top-shelf post! I laughed, I cried, I yearned for more.

beth

i wonder if billy knows what a total chick magnet he is!

Kristen

//I'll spare you the details.//

Trust me, we know them. Do we ever.

Futureman

Wells and I are compadres. We used to race around town in his 71 Chevy Nova. He used to let me drive although I was 2 years younger than him. In High School he could always get us beer even before he was 21. He briefly dated my older Sister but that ended ugly because he couldn’t commit and she broke it off. He comes over to my house now on Weds nights to play cards and he always bluffs and bet big. His dog craps all over my lawn. My wife leaves when he comes over. He yells curses out his car window at my neighbors when we drive through my neighborhood. He would give you the shirt off his back.

sarah

edgar is that friend that you only call every once in awhile, but when you do get around to calling them they are inevitably in the middle of some sort of emotional crisis. i have to go over to edgar's apartment for a quick visit just to check up on him because i'm worried about him, and when i get there i have to clean up his place for him because it's a total shambles. while i'm doing his dishes i'll probably have to listen to him break down and cry, and i will have to give him the "get your shit together this is not that bad" speech, and then we'll go out and get taco bell together or something and edgar will spend his end of the conversation optimistically rationalizing how his life got so out of control. then we won't talk again for three months.

manny is the guy i call every other day and we talk mad shit about edgar and what a fuck up he is and spend the rest of the conversation talking about cool cars/women/cellphones/mp3 players we want.

Dave

//i wonder if billy knows what a total chick magnet he is//

Oh yeah the dude knows.

beth

and how do YOU know he knows?

Dave

///and how do YOU know he knows?///

A friend of my sister's, lets just say, told him so.

Karina

I am so glad I'm not the only one with an imaginary baseball world. It's like my own private soap opera.

Bronson-
Bronson and I are having a steamy affair (as in, quickie in the dugout tunnel kind of affair. Yeah, he sneaks me in.) It's passionate but I know he's never going to leave his wife.

Johnny-
He's a drinking buddy of mine. He thinks I'm attracted to him, because he thinks ALL females are attracted to him, but I'm really not. I just have a ton of fun hanging out with him. Same exact thing with Kapler.

Tek-
I don't know Tek very well because he's a big family man and rarely comes out with the rest of us. He's happiest when he's home with the wife and kids. He's nice but a little too serious sometimes.

Clement-
Matt is I defended all through our school years because he was geeky and got teased a lot. He is one of my sweetest, most loyal friends, and I often go to his house for barbecues with his family. If he ever found out about my affair with Bronson, he'd have a hard time forgiving both of us.

Mueller-
Mueller is the guy who wanted to date me in high school but I was never interested because he was a nice guy and I only liked the "bad boy" type. I still kick myself for missing out.

Bellhorn-
Mark is quiet and nice. I'm always on the lookout for a nice girl for him. He's ready to settle down.

Wells-
David and I are great friends. Despite his image, he has a heart of gold and would defend me to the very end. He's a different guy when he's with his guy friends, though, which gets on my nerves sometimes.

Manny-
Manny is the guy who was always in trouble in high school, but always got out of it by charming the teachers. I could always stop by his apartment any hour of the day or night, and he'd be there with a bunch of other people, eating pizza and drinking beer and watching Ren & Stimpy. His door was always open. If I drank too much, he'd tuck me in and put my car keys in a safe place - but then forget where he put them the next day.

Geez, I need my OWN blog for all this. Sorry for hogging your guestbook, but this is too much fun!!!

rebecca

wow. nice.

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